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Friday, October 26, 2012

a different kind of night.

we had another bad night last night. bella didn't go low overnight, but went REALLY high. we checked her before bed and her BG was 176. in our minds, we are comfortable with her being a little high before bed. we gave her a snack, just as normal. i was really tired from yesterday's scary low BG incident and fell asleep early. nathan checked bella at 11pm and she was 526!!!! (for those of you who don't know, normal BG is between 90-120. also, BG over 500 was what put bella in the hospital before) he thought maybe it was a misread, so he checked again...437. he gave her a dose of insulin to being her down. i got up at 2am to bella screaming. i ran upstairs and checked her BG. again it was over 500. i gave her another dose of insulin to hopefully lower her BG. at 4am she was down to 293, which is still high, but not scary like over 500! i have to call the endo again today to figure out what we need to do for her. all this trial and error is making me crazy!

on another note, i finally was able to open up and vent about my feelings since bella was diagnosed in june. i had A LOT of pent up emotions and had a good, long cry.

we were trying for a dolde jr. #3 before bella was diagnosed. i had a miscarriage in March that was very difficult for nathan and i to deal with, but we kept moving forward trying. her T1 diagnosis had to put a quick stop to having another baby. both my pregnancies weren't easy pregnancies and i was terrified if i was preggers while standing in for bella's pancreas at the same time, something bad might happen with the pregnancy from stress. i was never able to mourn for the baby we lost, the baby that we could have had, bella's diagnosis and most of all, the loss of bella's innocent childhood. she goes through more finger sticks, needles and feeling crummy than most people will in their entire lifetime.

hopefully, the endo can make some suggestions today that will make the weekend easier on bella.

*fingers crossed*


Thursday, October 25, 2012

I'm numb.

Things had been bearable (if you can even call it that) up until yesterday. I talked to the nurse at the Endo yesterday to find out why Bella's BG was all over the map. She made some suggestions to try for a couple of days. I was super stoked to try her ideas to make night time easier on Bella and me.

The first suggestion was to give a fatty snack before bed because the fat slows the absorption of the carbs and would help keep her BG level overnight. WRONG (at least last night). I checked Bella at bedtime and her BG was good. I gave her ice cream before bed and then checked her BG again before I went to bed. Still good. I got up at 2AM to check and she was REALLY low at 63. I had a hard time waking her and she was super cold. I panicked and gave her whatever I could get her to eat. She ended up having a couple of glucose tabs, a pack of smarties and half a pack of fruit snacks. Within 20 minutes she was back up to a low normal number BG, so I felt confident that I could let her go back to sleep and catch some sleep myself.

She ended up sleeping until 10AM because she was so tired from all the 2AM activity. We had a good morning and her brother had early release from school today. We went to pick up "Bubby" and run some errands. I was sure when we got home her BG would be low. It was actually high. I fed her lunch, gave her insulin and put her down for a nap. She woke up screaming 2 hours later. Nathan went upstairs to get her and she was inconsolable. He checked her BG and it was 84. Her eyes were glazed over and she wouldn't open her mouth so we could get any sugar into her. She was like a limp doll in my arms. She fought us until Nathan pinned her down and I rubbed honey on her gums. In a few minutes she came around and would eat a snack. I rechecked her BG and it's back to normal. I have never been that scared in my life.

Days like this make me so sad. I HATE diabetes. No one, however old or young, should have to deal with this awful lifestyle. It is so taxing on the entire family. The whole family has to live with diabetes, even if they don't actually have it. The stress is literally making me sick. I struggle with depression myself and I am on several medications to help with it. I am so stressed and anxious that I just want to climb in the bed until tomorrow. As some of you know, I have been on Weight Watchers and trying to improve myself inside and out. Days like today make it really hard for me to keep motivated. I feel sad and helpless that my sweet little 2 year old has to live like this, with the ups and downs, and with feeling crummy more often than not.

Diabetes, YOU SUCK.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

A long overdue confession.

As you know, Bella was diagnosed on 6/19/12. It was a day we will NEVER forget as long as we live. The first month almost killed me. I thought every single day that I couldn't was too much. As the days, weeks and months have progressed, things have gotten easier. NOT easy, but easier. Nathan and I don't even have to verbally communicate about what Bella needs, it's just become second nature.

When Bella was born in February 2010, I quit my job as a Licensed Vet Tech. I LOVED what I did and I still miss working with animals every single day. It was one of those universe preparing you for something larger moments, I suppose, because if I was still working when Bella was diagnosed with T1 in June, I would have had to quit. She needs 24 hour care. She sleeps in my bed every night so I can check her BG every 3 hours. It is an all consuming life to live. I had plans the beginning of June to volunteer at the Humane Society, but that didn't happen either. In the shuffle of day to day life filling in as Bella's pancreas, I realized that I have lost my identity. I don't feel like I am anything except Mason & Bella's mom, a pancreas and a wife.

Recently, I decided I needed to find myself again. When I look in the mirror I hate what I see. I stress eat and since this summer has been SO incredibly stressful, I put on weight. Instead of wallowing in self pity, I decided to do something about it. I joined a group of other T1 moms and we are supporting each other in weight loss. I started Weight Watchers October 1& I have done very well so far.  Not even one temptation and I have stayed strong and motivated! I am very proud of myself :)  I had wanted to be able to exercise as well, but I had terrible knee pain in my right knee, which made even getting up off the couch to walk through the house excruciating. I had a doctor appointment last week and got a steroid injection in my knee. Guess what? It's as good as new....maybe even better!!!! Now I am able to exercise! I have been walking our dog at least once a day, sometimes twice. We go for 30-45 minute walks. I started working out with weights today. I know the weight didn't appear quickly, so it's not going to just disappear quickly, but I am feeling better about myself, more confident and I feel like I *might* just be finding myself again! It's very stress relieving to be able to take care of myself for once. Remember moms, you can't be a great mom if you don't take care of yourself first!

And one final comment, Bella is going to sleep in her bed for the first time in 4 months tonight! Wish us luck!!!!


Wednesday, October 17, 2012

New Bern Fundraising Weekend Pt. II

Bella getting ready to spread the word.

Thanks to the guys at Mr.Tire (Colony Tire) in Greenville we were able to get to New Bern for the rest of the weekend after the bump in the road on Friday. They put in plugs, wires and rotor and the car was ready to go by closing time on Friday. It only took a couple of cupcakes and bracelets to make it happen.

We were outside in front of the convention center on Saturday and Sunday, we had access to a lot of the foot traffic going to MumFest, although we weren't technically part of it. Even though we were very disappointed that the Chocolate Explosion was postponed we still had a very productive weekend. We now have our display table setup and approach down to a science. We look forward to doing more festival type events now.

Bella and Skyler made an instant T1-D bond.
All in all we learned a lot and we met a lot of great people. We also have greater confidence in sharing our story and educating on T1-D as well as Diabetic Alert Dogs. It gets more amazing how many people's lives are effected by diabetes.

Bella met some great older kids that were T1-D and we got to see them bond almost instantly. On Sunday an 11-12 year old T1-D kid bought a bracelet and introduced himself to Bella as diabetic. Bella shook his hand got a huge smile and said "Me Bell-ha have 'betes too!" Which would've been the cutest thing ever if diabetes wasn't so dumb.

Aidan, Bella & Billy
We also met some great dog people as well. We met Lucas the Pit Bull Service Dog who has his own Facebook page. He was a big sweetie and when he's not helping his handler with her heart condition he's trying hard to change the perception of his breed. We spoke briefly with 'A Dogs Dream' about a future fundraiser together.

We also met the wonderful folks from Weller Kennels, out of New Bern who were our neighbors for the weekend. Really can't say enough about how kind and generous they are. They do awesome work with retrievers as well. We met Billy and the whole family fell in love with him.

Bella & Lucas.

Bella & Henry

Aidan & Bella
 The Doldes were almost out in full force as Uncle Adam, Aunt Nanny (Leslie) and cousin Aidan came down from Durham for the day to help out. It's really great to be within 90 miles of Doldes once again.

Last but not least our other booth neighbors were the Phi Theta Kappa from Craven CC. They were selling Marshmallow guns which kept us busy for two days. One of their members will be doing a documentary on Bella for a class project. Which we will post on here once complete.

All in all it was a very exciting weekend! Thanks to the efforts of all the volunteers and visitors. We had a great time. And a special thanks to the Family History Society of Eastern North Carolina for your sponsorship and your generous donation. We raised around $800.00 this weekend which puts us right at our 1-year goal for fundraising in a little under four months. Thanks to everyone for your continued support. We continue to be humbled by all of your concern and kindness. Stay tuned for announcements concerning the rescheduling of the chocolate explosion as well!

Look at the sea of Blog for a Dog T-shirts! Big special thanks to Kathie, Mary and Cousin David for all of your help and support.

We still have bracelets and T-shirts for sale if anyone wants one let us know!

Thank you, New Bern we'll see you next time!

Friday, October 12, 2012

Fundraising weekend in New Bern NC

Today marks the beginning of the first time we're taking the Dolde show on the road and into the public.

And it started off the way the Dolde show often does...

We've managed to get most of the Dolde show to New Bern in spite of this, however.

The MumFest doesn't officially start until tomorrow but early reports from our stressed out Mommy in the field indicate early donations, t-shirt sales and lots of T1-D info into the ears of lots of nice people. So if it's any sign of things to come we'll have a pretty good weekend.

Bella's holding up well despite lack of nap, a couple of lows that were quickly attended to. And it sounds like Mason didn't take enough stuff to do. All will be corrected hopefully tomorrow.

We've bribed the guys at Colony Tire with promises of bracelets and cupcakes and they'll do their best to get us all on the road for tomorrow.

We'll post pics of our table and what we're doing as soon as we can. Stop by and see us if you're near the New Bern Riverfront Convention Center.

As always thanks for your support...


Chocolate Explosion! Postponed.

 The Chocolate Explosion! has been postponed.
We will be in New Bern today with an informational table, t-shirts and bracelets.
Hopefully we will be there tomorrow and sunday as well. We're having some car trouble so this is up in the air. Hope to see you there between mumfest and the art yacht right by the dogshow!



The Craven Chocolate Explosion! will explode at a later date.

New Bern, North Carolina (10 October 2012) The Craven Chocolate Explosion! will explode at a later date. The event is being postponed due to circumstances beyond the organizers' control.

We desire and are committed to presenting the best show possible for both the public and the exhibitors to enjoy and we apologize that it cannot be done at this time as planned.

We invite you to come by the New Bern Riverfront Convention Center this Friday, Saturday, and Sunday from 10 am to 6 pm to meet Bella Dolde, age 2, and her family. She was recently diagnosed with Type-1 Juvenile Diabetes. We are raffling a chocolate lovers gift basket to
assist them in acquiring a diabetic alert dog. Type-1 Diabetics may have chocolate and sweets in moderation.

Also, visit our website,, to learn more about Bella, sign-up for our email newsletter, and like us on facebook to enter for a "Craven Chocolate" cookbook and other prize drawings.

We thank everyone who has assisted us thus far and we look forward to seeing you this weekend to meet Bella and at the future Craven Chocolate Explosion!

Media Contact : Contact: David French, Craven Chocolate Explosion!
252.349.0405 • •

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

T-Shirts for Bella!

We just got two big boxes of T-shirts from Dan at CommonWealth Press.

Shirts are light blue with chocolate ink, printed on the back.

Here's the breakdown on shirts:

Child's S,M,L,XL - $12

Adult L,XL- $12  XXL- $15

If you need your shirt mailed it's $2 per shirt eastern and central time zone and $4 mountain and pacific.

If you want one let Kat know at and she'll set up payment arrangements.